


Into The Woods

by bibliothekara



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Gen, Humor, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-17
Updated: 2011-01-17
Packaged: 2017-10-14 20:24:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/153126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bibliothekara/pseuds/bibliothekara
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Goddamn California." Rossi and Hotch find themselves in a really complicated situation. Involving redwoods. But JJ and Emily are there to save the day.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Into The Woods

**Author's Note:**

> a) Written for [](http://melliyna.livejournal.com/profile)[**melliyna**](http://melliyna.livejournal.com/) 's prompt at the[ The Dudley Do-Right Memorial Peril/Hurt/Comfort/Id-Fic-Athon: CM Gen/AU/Crack/Crossover Edition](http://bibliothekara.livejournal.com/20690.html) . Which you should all go post at.  
>  **Prompt** : "Hotch, Rossi in peril. Bonus points if it's JJ, Garcia and Emily doing the rescuing. Chocolate cupcakes with sprinkles on top if Hotch gets referred to as Mom, Rossi as Dad and they act like it."

*****  
"Damn it, Hotch, could you moan or groan just a little? The 'stoic through all pain' bit is starting to wear a bit thin."

"Well, Dave, I'm sorry I'm not quite as vocal as you. I'll do better in future."

"Oh, sarcasm, very mature."

"I try my best."

The conversation receded to a dull grumble, as Dave pulled up, and tried to ascertain once again where the fuck they were.

And that sudden movement got the response he had been looking for. As the change in pressure on Hotch's *good* knee set off a chain reaction of pain that ended in the bad one, the younger man let off a loud string of ancient Anglo-Saxon curse words. Some of which Dave hadn't even been aware Hotch knew.

"Have you been looking up those in Reid's copy of Chaucer?"

"I've been looking them up in _my_ copy of Chaucer."

"Oh."

"....jackass."

That last bit had been sotto voce, and Dave smiled broadly. Hotch's buttoned down nature had been a virtue to him as a leader. But as a friend, Dave always enjoyed seeing him let loose. And occasionally, he would admit, Dave would push the envelope. That was, according to his mother and at least two of his ex-wives, simply his nature. David Rossi, Instigator.

And if they were going to freeze or starve or be eaten by bears in these godforsaken woods...or be shot by the redneck unsub that they had been chasing (that was still an option) Rossi was not going to go quietly into that good night.

He looked around at the various redwoods. No landmark or piece of greenery popped out at him. They were still lost.

Rossi would have argued, before this, that he and Hotch were a plenty big enough contingent to go interview one lone Mendocino County resident. However, two was certainly not enough to take on Redneck Pothead, *plus* his brother, and his wife, and her brother, and their best friend. The fight had been brutal, and Dave was pretty sure Hotch had torn something in his right knee. The two BAU agents had really been lucky to get away with *only* being deprived of their cell phones, beaten and tied up, and then abandoned in the woods.

"Worse then Florida, I swear. Goddamn California."

"Watch your mouth."

Rossi turned, only to see his friend grinning as widely as was possible through the pain in his knee.

"One, I met your mother, and I know how she felt about taking the Lord's name in vain. And two, Garcia's from California, and she made me promise once to defend it as best I could against all comers."

Rossi said nothing, but raised an eyebrow at that last bit.

Hotch shrugged slightly. "Yes, she was high as a kite on morphine at the time, but I made a promise."

Dave shook his head, and then motioned towards the path in front of them. Hotch didn't look thrilled, but braced himself as the pair set off again through the woods. Heading what Rossi felt was north, towards any sign of aroad.

They managed what seemed like a mile, but was probably less, in relative silence.

"Thank heaven for small mercies. At least Morgan and the team knew where we were going. They'll get worried if we don't call in, right?"

"Don't worry, Dave. They'll find him. They may not find him before we go native and start living in a hobbit hole out here, but they'll find him."

Rossi looked over at Hotch again, and decided that perhaps he was in worse shape than Dave had anticipated. He was very found of his friend's snarky sense of humour, but this was ridiculous.

Hotch continued on, starting to ramble. "They're good kids. We've taught them well, and now we've got to set them free, into the world. Free...like, mama birds and baby birds."

Rossi surreptitiously attempted to feel Hotch's forehead, but this only ended up nearly tipping the two of them over. Surreptitious was really not high on Dave's list of talents.

"Dave...Dave, what the hell are you doing?" Hotch protested, but not very strongly. As Rossi turned to come face to face with the other man, he noticed that Hotch was swaying on his feet. So Dave immediately grabbed hold of him again, moving him as gently as possible towards the nearest tree.

He sat Hotch down, back braced against the tree trunk, and felt his forehead again.

"Damn it, Hotch, you're burning up. Why didn't you tell me you were sick this morning?"

"Because I felt fine this morning. Only a little nauseous. Thought it was the chili at that diner last night. You worry too much."

This, from Aaron Hotchner? Dave would have guffawed out loud, if the situation hadn't been so serious.

"Aaron. Look at me."

Hotch complied, putting on his "serious face" nearly immediately.

"Would you let other people worry about you, sometimes, occasionally?"

"Okay, Dave."

"Okay."

It was getting dark, and Rossi suddenly felt the day's exhaustion come over him as well. So he sat down next to Hotch, shoulder to shoulder. And immediately knew that Hotch was pretty far gone, as the younger man leaned over and...well, nestled was the only proper word...*nestled* his head into Rossi's shoulder.

"It's okay, Hotch. It's okay. We'll just sleep for a while, and then we'll get out of this, I promise."

Dave must have been more tired than he realized, he thought later. Because his next memory was loud. Loud and bright. Loud ATVs, coming up to Hotch and Rossi's clearing. His fight or flight response kicked in: _it's Grennier, it's the unsub, oh fuck, we're gonna die._

However, the next face he saw was a sight blonder, and a fair sight prettier, then Grennier's, and Dave started to beam.

"JJ! Good of you to drop by."

"Well, we were in the neighborhood..."

And then, as he looked up, the situation got even better, as a tall brunette figure came into his field of vision.

"Yeah, Rossi, couldn't let you and Hotch have all the outdoorsy fun."

"Hey Em....oh crap, Hotch! Prentiss, we gotta get him to a hospital, his knee's all torn up, he's running a fever, and..."

Rossi then felt a light *thwack* on the back of his head.

"And *he* is sitting right here, you bossy...whatever you are."

At the almost prissy tone in their boss's voice, both Emily and JJ looked like they were trying incredibly hard not to crack up. Fortunately, at that moment, the Highway Patrol's EMTs arrived.

JJ immediately went over to help them tend to Hotch. At first Hotch seemed like he was going to attempt to get up on his own. But at one look from JJ, he seemed to think better of it, and allowed himself to be helped towards the the path.

A hand was extended towards Dave, and he thankfully grabbed it. And then almost keeled over, but fortunately Emily Prentiss, with a subtle smile on her face, kept him vertical.

"Grennier?"

"Morgan and Reid and the County SWAT team are taking care of him as we speak."

"How did you find us?"

"Wasn't hard. Thankfully Grennier and his crew are not overburdened with brains. They abandoned your SUV in a pretty visible place, and then we just trusted to the good people at the Forest Service. You were only a couple miles from the road, you would have gotten there eventually."

"Hotch was certain you kids would find us."

"Well, Hotch is a pretty smart guy. And we kids can handle ourselves pretty well when Mom and Dad are away."

Emily's smile turned into a grin, and Dave couldn't help smiling with her, as they walked out of the woods and back into civilization.

 ***fin***   



End file.
